chenbo815

　　在图书馆里翻书，偶然看到十六世纪法国作家Michel de Montaigne谈论婚姻的一段话，"It (marriage) happens as with cages: the birds without despair to get in, and those within despair of getting out. " 立刻想到《围城》。回来查一下，第三章中，褚慎明说：“他引一句英国古话，说结婚仿佛金漆的鸟笼，笼子外面的鸟想住进去，笼内的鸟想飞出来；所以结而离，离而结，没有了局。” 苏小姐道：“法国也有这么一句话。不过，不说是鸟笼，说是被围困的城堡fortresse assiegee，城外的人想冲进去，城里的人想逃出来。”

原来出处在这里，不过英法倒置了一下。

顺便又找到几条de Montaigne谈论婚姻的话，A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. 这段比较中性，男人装聋，女人闭眼，互相容忍很重要。

“A good marriage (if any there be) refuses the conditions of love and endeavors to present those of amity.”这就比较哲学了，似乎是觉得婚姻与爱情不相容。还有，"If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. "一个意思。

他进一步阐释，"A good marriage ... is a sweet association in life: full of constancy, trust, and an infinite number of useful and solid services and mutual obligations. "认为婚姻的性质是彼此负责等等之类的，时下标准婚恋咨询的定义。而且还有" Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance "，"Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued." 什么都有价钱，价值还会变化，就更加明显地功利了。

然而他并不否认爱情的存在，只是，"If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I."

那本书里还有其他很多关于婚姻的段子，谚语，格言，名人说法什么的等等，有些挺机智深刻的，但都有些犬儒主义的色彩，比较世俗，比较搞笑，也比较无奈，有些还比较愤青(例如，"Most virtuous women are like hidden treasures; they are safe only because they are not sought after."( La Rochefoucauld)， "If there were no husbands, who would look after our mistresses?" (George Moore))。

都一个意思的东西，也就没有意思了。就象说，金钱不能带来幸福，但没钱也不行。谁不知道? 但有时是觉得说的方式有趣而已。